Queen B. Divine has realized something important lately: she could use less choices. Yes—LESS. She grew up in a time when “options” were basically imaginary. TV had maybe five channels on a good day, and that was only if the aluminum code hanger attached to the antenna was bent at an angle blessed by the gods of static electricity. If someone walked by the TV too fast, if the wind blew wrong, or if the apartment simply existed with too much confidence, the channel disappeared.
Back then, “channels” weren’t guaranteed—they were spiritual experiences. You hoped. You prayed. You adjusted the hanger.
But today? There are too many choices. Queen B. Divine isn’t asking for a time machine—she just wants her sanity back. She remembers when cable was simple: 60 channels and 3 movie channels for 50 bucks. That was luxury. That was joy. That was the era when you could sit down and actually watch TV without needing a financial advisor. Now, to watch just one favourite series, she needs Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, Prime, Crave, Paramount, HBO, and three other streaming platforms she didn’t even know existed. And the funniest part? She still can’t find the show—but they can sure find her money.
And don’t even get her started on remote controls.
Queen B. Divine remembers when remotes had three buttons: ON, OFF, and VOLUME. Simple. Straightforward. Loyal. Today’s remotes have 87 buttons, 4 menus, 6 modes, a flashlight, a cryptic button that even the manufacturer can’t identify, and a launch sequence that looks like it could access NASA.
Queen B. Divine just wants to turn the TV on, not decode hieroglyphics.
Entertainment used to be simple—fun even. Now it feels like a subscription scavenger hunt, and half the treasure is hidden behind add-ons. So if you ask her what she could use less of? Definitely less choices, fewer subscriptions, fewer “premium upgrades,” and fewer remotes built like spacecraft control panels. Queen B. Divine just wants her basic TV back: a couple channels, the news, her 80’s sitcom reruns, and actual peace.
Is that too much to ask?
OH yeah subscribe …yes I am apart of the problem …funny eh!
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